I recently heard of a person giving a talk at an elementary school, and scaring the kids with stories of the devil and hell, etc.
In our day and age, you do not hear much of this kind of thing. Catechetics has moved to a more invitational, love-based approach to teachings about God and our relationship with God. Some people feel that this approach misses the mark. Today's kids not only do not know about sin, they say, they also do not know about their faith - meaning things like the four cardinal virtues, the three theological virtues, the seven deadly sins, and so on. The theory is that armed with such knowledge, we will be in better position to have a properly informed conscience, make better moral judgements, and so on. Throw in the terrors of hell, and you theoretically bump up the motivation to live a good life.
By contrast, the invitational approach says that Jesus brings Good News of salvation. Jesus above all wants people to know him, more than know about him. Jesus castigated the Pharisees over and over in the Gospel because they knew everything there was to know about the law and the traditions of Israel, yet were morally and spiritually bankrupt. Love one another as I have loved you, Jesus told his followers. Do not be like the Pharisees.
In the parable of the Prodigal Son, the elder son knew and kept the rules. The one thing he did not know was the only thing he really needed to know - he did not know his father. Neither did the younger son, initially. He sure does now. The elder son when last seen was still outside, mad and bitter.
There never will be an end to the debate, I suppose. I 'learned my faith' from the Baltimore Catechism, and many people of my generation would say that is the kind of forum in which our faith should be learned.
I have news for them. People of our generation learned our faith by going to Mass with our parents. By saying the Rosary at night. By going to wakes of people you might not have even known - and by taking food to the family of the deceased person. We learned to live the virtues, we learned to live our spirituality. We were brought to the point where our relationship with Jesus could take hold and become truly ours. That got lost in the discussions about what kind of catechism, we were or are using.
In the end, the invitational approach is not what has failed our children. Parents have failed our children. We are not going to Mass ourselves, and over and over what we see in parishes is the kids in effect bringing their parents to Church when it comes to sacramental preparation and sacramental participation.
As for our relationship with God, the invitational approach is the one. It certainly is what people hear at our parish, St. Paul the Apostle - all the way from the gathering area to the sanctuary to the ambo (pulpit). People come back because they love it. People participate because they sense the holy, not because they are frightened to death.
I scanned a picture out of the local newspaper recently. It is a springtime image of a mother duck swimming with her ducklings right behind her. Those ducklings simply 'know' they are safe. They will never need lectures on what they are supposed to do. They simply know who they ARE - to their mother. What do you think would happen if she started to chase them all over the pond or the field or the barnyard? They would scatter, that's what.
Our Church has chased its young, and they have scattered. Some of us older folks fall prey to the temptation to keep right on doing that - chasing. We are convinced they need to hear everything we want to tell them. Probably they do. But children will come to fear God after they love God - because they will never want to hurt their relationship with him.
Nobody every came to love another by being told scary stories about them.
We parents need to think this through. For our own practice of the faith. For the model we provide our children. And for what we will say about the catechetical program in our schools.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
A Plaintive Question
I was recently facilitating a little group that was dealing with a variety of topics in and around the Catholic faith. A person had a question about the sexual abuse scandal in the Church. At first I thought the question might be of the angry, attacking variety. But it wasn't. It was a plea, in a way. Please tell me if things are different. Will sexual abuse cases be handled differently now and in the future, or is the same old, same old, attitude of cover-up still around?
I sensed the emotional tone of the question. My answer included first-hand information to the effect that priests in our Archdiocese, and I am sure everywhere else certainly in North America, have been told in person at meetings that they have a legal obligation to report child abuse of any kind, to the Children's Aid Society. They do not call anyone for permission or authorization to do so. The Church has underscored and endorsed this obligation.
I added that in the same spirit, I at least suspect that the days of moving known abusers around, no matter what the motivation (eg, prevent public scandal, avoid embarrassment, etc, etc), are hopefully over. I believe they are.
Yesterday, I read an article in the National Catholic Reporter that adds to my hope. My hope not only that there is a process in place to handle 'cases', but more importantly in the long run, addressing the systemic issues. Being open to look at the question 'who have we become, that allowed this to take place?'
The article was written by Tom Roberts and is dated Apr 22, 2011. Mr Roberts is reporting on a conference he attended at Marquette University Law School, titled “Harm, Hope, and Healing: International Dialogue on the Clergy Sex Abuse Scandal.” Here are some excerpts:
Not much new surfaced in terms of content. The difference in this conference -- indeed, the something new -- could be seen in two elements: Bishops and priests were speaking in a way that one rarely hears them talk about sex abuse; and in their prepared remarks, many of the clerics dared to look at themselves and what we call, for lack of a term that accommodates more nuance, clerical culture..........
Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin, Ireland, whose speech -- by now widely circulated -- was the plain-spoken antidote to the worst of the clerical culture’s equivocations about the crisis.
His questions ranged to what might have been going on in seminaries that abetted a culture that accommodated abusers. He wants a priesthood reformed with candidates who display a high level of maturity regarding not only human sexuality “but in overall mature behavior and relationships.”
He is concerned by young priests who seem more interested in achieving “some form of personal security or status” than with service and by the signs “of renewed clericalism” among new priests. At a time when many think enhancing Catholic identity means a greater separation between clergy and laity, Martin wants his seminarians to be educated with laypeople “so that they can establish mature relationships with men and women and do not develop any sense of their priesthood giving them a special social position.” ...............
A panel of six priests of the Milwaukee archdiocese spoke movingly of personal conversions, of moving from betrayal to new understanding, from disbelief of early reports of the scandal to a new awareness of the need for truth. “We must speak the truth, I must speak the truth, and not close our eyes to the truths that are all around us,” said Fr. Howard G. Haase. “We must not pretend we don’t know and convince ourselves that if we wait long enough it will all go away.”
I sign my letters and emails with the tag, "Remember, we are in the hope business." Perhaps that assertion is being vindicated here, and meaningful change is underway at many levels. The entire Church community will be the beneficiary, and the Good News of Jesus will continue to lead us.
I sensed the emotional tone of the question. My answer included first-hand information to the effect that priests in our Archdiocese, and I am sure everywhere else certainly in North America, have been told in person at meetings that they have a legal obligation to report child abuse of any kind, to the Children's Aid Society. They do not call anyone for permission or authorization to do so. The Church has underscored and endorsed this obligation.
I added that in the same spirit, I at least suspect that the days of moving known abusers around, no matter what the motivation (eg, prevent public scandal, avoid embarrassment, etc, etc), are hopefully over. I believe they are.
Yesterday, I read an article in the National Catholic Reporter that adds to my hope. My hope not only that there is a process in place to handle 'cases', but more importantly in the long run, addressing the systemic issues. Being open to look at the question 'who have we become, that allowed this to take place?'
The article was written by Tom Roberts and is dated Apr 22, 2011. Mr Roberts is reporting on a conference he attended at Marquette University Law School, titled “Harm, Hope, and Healing: International Dialogue on the Clergy Sex Abuse Scandal.” Here are some excerpts:
Not much new surfaced in terms of content. The difference in this conference -- indeed, the something new -- could be seen in two elements: Bishops and priests were speaking in a way that one rarely hears them talk about sex abuse; and in their prepared remarks, many of the clerics dared to look at themselves and what we call, for lack of a term that accommodates more nuance, clerical culture..........
Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin, Ireland, whose speech -- by now widely circulated -- was the plain-spoken antidote to the worst of the clerical culture’s equivocations about the crisis.
His questions ranged to what might have been going on in seminaries that abetted a culture that accommodated abusers. He wants a priesthood reformed with candidates who display a high level of maturity regarding not only human sexuality “but in overall mature behavior and relationships.”
He is concerned by young priests who seem more interested in achieving “some form of personal security or status” than with service and by the signs “of renewed clericalism” among new priests. At a time when many think enhancing Catholic identity means a greater separation between clergy and laity, Martin wants his seminarians to be educated with laypeople “so that they can establish mature relationships with men and women and do not develop any sense of their priesthood giving them a special social position.” ...............
A panel of six priests of the Milwaukee archdiocese spoke movingly of personal conversions, of moving from betrayal to new understanding, from disbelief of early reports of the scandal to a new awareness of the need for truth. “We must speak the truth, I must speak the truth, and not close our eyes to the truths that are all around us,” said Fr. Howard G. Haase. “We must not pretend we don’t know and convince ourselves that if we wait long enough it will all go away.”
I sign my letters and emails with the tag, "Remember, we are in the hope business." Perhaps that assertion is being vindicated here, and meaningful change is underway at many levels. The entire Church community will be the beneficiary, and the Good News of Jesus will continue to lead us.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Some Lenten thoughts
I was reading a book on Ignatian spirituality recently – St. Ignatius Loyola being the founder of the Jesuits. The discussion that stuck with me was the one dealing with our creature comforts. I have always found this fascinating in Ignatius. He was a big proponent of the virtue of ‘indifference.’ By this he means neither seeking nor avoiding, neither wishing nor refusing, anything in life that is not evil in itself. The list includes health, wealth, and even long life. As I recall, the author of the book was talking about reviewing our modern life, and the great range of comforts Ignatius could not even imagine. He asked the question, what is it that you really need, on your own personal list? What could you do without?
The question puts a new perspective on giving things up for Lent. It could be that we approach Lent not as doing a self-punishment, but rather as practicing what indifference really feels like. I am far from indifferent to everything I possess, including Ignatius’ original list. I know I feel rather strongly about most things I have, from my ability to think, to my car, to my lifestyle. I do realize that as good as they all might be, they have a way of confining me. Giving something up for Lent will help me practice freeing myself up for God. That is all that Ignatius wanted, this was the whole point. It was not about the things, it was about our disposition towards them. We are hanging on more tightly than we realize. Lent gives us a chance to test that a bit. And as I see it, it does not have to be a really big thing, it only needs to happen.
I also came across a saying of Mother Teresa that I do not recall hearing before. It follows nicely on the above. Here is what Mother Teresa said:
The fruit of silence is prayer,
The fruit of prayer is faith,
The fruit of faith is love,
The fruit of love is service,
The fruit of service is peace.
Join those thoughts to a little practice of ‘indifference’, and you arrive at what Ignatius was striving for, too. Increase in faith, increase in love, increase in actually doing things for others, increase in peace. That is a remarkable promise. Start it off as Mother Teresa suggests – with a little silence.
Have a good Lent. Be ready, really ready, for the triumph of the Cross and Resurrection of Jesus.
The question puts a new perspective on giving things up for Lent. It could be that we approach Lent not as doing a self-punishment, but rather as practicing what indifference really feels like. I am far from indifferent to everything I possess, including Ignatius’ original list. I know I feel rather strongly about most things I have, from my ability to think, to my car, to my lifestyle. I do realize that as good as they all might be, they have a way of confining me. Giving something up for Lent will help me practice freeing myself up for God. That is all that Ignatius wanted, this was the whole point. It was not about the things, it was about our disposition towards them. We are hanging on more tightly than we realize. Lent gives us a chance to test that a bit. And as I see it, it does not have to be a really big thing, it only needs to happen.
I also came across a saying of Mother Teresa that I do not recall hearing before. It follows nicely on the above. Here is what Mother Teresa said:
The fruit of silence is prayer,
The fruit of prayer is faith,
The fruit of faith is love,
The fruit of love is service,
The fruit of service is peace.
Join those thoughts to a little practice of ‘indifference’, and you arrive at what Ignatius was striving for, too. Increase in faith, increase in love, increase in actually doing things for others, increase in peace. That is a remarkable promise. Start it off as Mother Teresa suggests – with a little silence.
Have a good Lent. Be ready, really ready, for the triumph of the Cross and Resurrection of Jesus.
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Good Story
Someone recently loaned me the book 'Christ the Lord - The Road to Cana', by Ann Rice. It is one of those stories of Biblical times, in which the author starts with the scripture account, then imagines what happened between events and between the lines. All of that becomes the material for the novel.
The story is not densely packed, and that is both its strength and its weakness. It is easy to follow. And you meet a very human Jesus as he becomes aware of who he is, and what the Father is asking him to do. His tender affection for young Avigail, whom everyone expected he would marry, is touching, and reassures the reader that he truly did have all those emotions. His response to his mother at the wedding feast, when she manipulated him into performing his first miracle, is humorous in a divine kind of way!
But the scene that was especially well done is that of Jesus' confrontation with Satan in the desert. It is not the temptations delivered in three terse sentences, but a long discussion, a battle of wits. Satan makes a good case about the plight the Jewish people have been in for centuries, about how they will continue to be swallowed up by their enemies, and about how they are looking for a deliverer. Then the temptation: "Not the simplest victory is accomplished unless I'm part of it. ...... Worship me and I will show you what is mine. I will give you the victory of which your prophets sang."
The sales job is very very good!
Jesus answer is wonderful: "You're the Prince of the Lie. And this is the lie: that you and the Lord God are equal, locked in combat with one another. That has never been so."
This is not scripture, to be sure. But as, for example, with the novel "The Shack", the author makes a contribution nonetheless. We are given a frame of reference for our own imaginings - and we most surely do have them. For me, that temptation scene shows Jesus, weak with hunger in the desert, engaging in a mighty battle. He is not the wooden figure who issues three super human responses. I relate to that because my battles are often mighty also, and I frequently lose. This story both affirms what I already believe about Jesus' power, and at the same time reassures me that the response asked of us in temptation is not a stretch that is beyond us. We do not have to despair, no matter how bad things get.
Postscript: note to Mary. Thank you for your message! Would love to continue with the dialogue, even meet at St. Paul's if you are in this area.
The story is not densely packed, and that is both its strength and its weakness. It is easy to follow. And you meet a very human Jesus as he becomes aware of who he is, and what the Father is asking him to do. His tender affection for young Avigail, whom everyone expected he would marry, is touching, and reassures the reader that he truly did have all those emotions. His response to his mother at the wedding feast, when she manipulated him into performing his first miracle, is humorous in a divine kind of way!
But the scene that was especially well done is that of Jesus' confrontation with Satan in the desert. It is not the temptations delivered in three terse sentences, but a long discussion, a battle of wits. Satan makes a good case about the plight the Jewish people have been in for centuries, about how they will continue to be swallowed up by their enemies, and about how they are looking for a deliverer. Then the temptation: "Not the simplest victory is accomplished unless I'm part of it. ...... Worship me and I will show you what is mine. I will give you the victory of which your prophets sang."
The sales job is very very good!
Jesus answer is wonderful: "You're the Prince of the Lie. And this is the lie: that you and the Lord God are equal, locked in combat with one another. That has never been so."
This is not scripture, to be sure. But as, for example, with the novel "The Shack", the author makes a contribution nonetheless. We are given a frame of reference for our own imaginings - and we most surely do have them. For me, that temptation scene shows Jesus, weak with hunger in the desert, engaging in a mighty battle. He is not the wooden figure who issues three super human responses. I relate to that because my battles are often mighty also, and I frequently lose. This story both affirms what I already believe about Jesus' power, and at the same time reassures me that the response asked of us in temptation is not a stretch that is beyond us. We do not have to despair, no matter how bad things get.
Postscript: note to Mary. Thank you for your message! Would love to continue with the dialogue, even meet at St. Paul's if you are in this area.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A shout out to the Sisters!
It has happened to me before, so I should know by now. You simply cannot outdo women religious in hospitality and generosity. My most recent encounter with that kind of gift-giving was time I spent over a period of three days, talking to the Religious Hospitalers of St. Joseph here in Kingston.
That community is discerning, as are many religious communities, how their mission and their charism are going to be lived in a world of decreasing numbers and aging members.
I thought I was to do the giving, but instead I came away so humbled by what they gave me. The sung blessing over me and my wife before we left, will stay with me always. The cheerfulness, the laughter, the camaraderie were reminders of the beauty of community life, even in the face of uncertainty. They were also reminders that ministry never ends, never takes a rest. I felt ministered to, and I go away feeling a bit more intentional about doing the same to others. The opportunities to be Christ to other people are not limited to formal structures or to liturgical celebrations. They are everywhere. In that sense, something I said to the group seems even more compelling now: the mission and the charism of this community may evolve in their manifestation, but they will never be outdated. The world desperately needs what the members have to offer. Every moment of the day. Thanks, Sisters! We will try to live up to your wonderful example.
That community is discerning, as are many religious communities, how their mission and their charism are going to be lived in a world of decreasing numbers and aging members.
I thought I was to do the giving, but instead I came away so humbled by what they gave me. The sung blessing over me and my wife before we left, will stay with me always. The cheerfulness, the laughter, the camaraderie were reminders of the beauty of community life, even in the face of uncertainty. They were also reminders that ministry never ends, never takes a rest. I felt ministered to, and I go away feeling a bit more intentional about doing the same to others. The opportunities to be Christ to other people are not limited to formal structures or to liturgical celebrations. They are everywhere. In that sense, something I said to the group seems even more compelling now: the mission and the charism of this community may evolve in their manifestation, but they will never be outdated. The world desperately needs what the members have to offer. Every moment of the day. Thanks, Sisters! We will try to live up to your wonderful example.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Best wishes for a wonderful 2011!
It started out great and then took a sudden turn. A beautiful and quiet dinner on New Years was followed by a chest cold that has put a damper on things. Now to add to the frustration, Windows has somehow made my emails disappear on one computer. Everything has to go up from here, right?
Christmas was wonderful, and the church part of it was unique, with the Saturday – Sunday back-to-back feasts of Christmas and Holy Family, then a week later New Years (Feast of Mary Mother of God) and Epiphany. In Canada, all four days were Holy Days of obligation. Hats off to the pastors who celebrated all the Masses involved! By my count we had 16 Masses at St. Paul’s on the two weekends. It was a privilege to preach on the Sundays, with Father taking the Christmas and Mary Mother of God feasts.
I go into the New Year with the theme of Epiphany running around in my head. I was struck this year by the notion that the Magi – whoever they were – went back to their own country and told about what they had seen. Why did they go in the first, place I wonder? They were probably from Persia, we are told, a journey of 1000 or more miles. They were also not of the Jewish faith. No matter: they saw a young child, and were faced with the question, what do you make of this? What do you say about it? Whatever their answer was, they apparently took that away with them. We are faced with the same question, what do you say about this? And I think we have the same challenge to tell about it in the land we inhabit. The birth of the newborn Messiah cannot be known if we do not make it known. I want to do that better in this year.
I have a prayer by Cardinal Newman that ends this way: Let me preach You without preaching, not by words, but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears for You.
The prayer is to live the life, not just say the words. I ask that grace for all of us.
Christmas was wonderful, and the church part of it was unique, with the Saturday – Sunday back-to-back feasts of Christmas and Holy Family, then a week later New Years (Feast of Mary Mother of God) and Epiphany. In Canada, all four days were Holy Days of obligation. Hats off to the pastors who celebrated all the Masses involved! By my count we had 16 Masses at St. Paul’s on the two weekends. It was a privilege to preach on the Sundays, with Father taking the Christmas and Mary Mother of God feasts.
I go into the New Year with the theme of Epiphany running around in my head. I was struck this year by the notion that the Magi – whoever they were – went back to their own country and told about what they had seen. Why did they go in the first, place I wonder? They were probably from Persia, we are told, a journey of 1000 or more miles. They were also not of the Jewish faith. No matter: they saw a young child, and were faced with the question, what do you make of this? What do you say about it? Whatever their answer was, they apparently took that away with them. We are faced with the same question, what do you say about this? And I think we have the same challenge to tell about it in the land we inhabit. The birth of the newborn Messiah cannot be known if we do not make it known. I want to do that better in this year.
I have a prayer by Cardinal Newman that ends this way: Let me preach You without preaching, not by words, but by my example, by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears for You.
The prayer is to live the life, not just say the words. I ask that grace for all of us.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Merry Christmas! Yes, it's Christmas!
Is it just me, or have you also noticed that people are saying 'Merry Christmas' a whole lot more this year than last? The first thing that alerted me to this was the Canadian Tire ad in which the adult daughter of an elderly woman takes her out for a while, and the rest of the family with grandchildren decorate the house and tree outside. When the two woman return later, the lights go on, and the daughter says to her mother 'Merry Christmas'. I sat up in my chair and asked my wife if I heard that right. Yes, I did. The ad continues with a voice-over that includes wishes for 'Happy Holidays'. Now I don't know about you, but I find that perfectly acceptable. After last year, the greeting 'Happy Holidays' just made me sad. Political correctness, oh my. I am ok with 'Happy Hanukkah' and also with 'Eid Mubarak', greetings for Jewish and Muslim feasts that occur during this time of year. Interesting, I have not yet read an article by religious Jews or Muslims condemning 'Merry Christmas'. Those kinds of things seem to come from folks who want religion taken out of Christmas. That means in first instance taking Jesus out. How wonderful it is to hear people and ads and television shows using the word Christmas. Makes my day.
If you are reading this and you are a Christian, I challenge you to use what for you is the correct and accurate greeting. December 25 refers to one event and one event only. If you are not Christian, or are no longer Christian, I hope you are a person of good will who understands that, commercialization notwithstanding, keeping this reference in the culture alludes to freedom of religion, rather than being an issue of freedom from religion.
If you are reading this and you are a Christian, I challenge you to use what for you is the correct and accurate greeting. December 25 refers to one event and one event only. If you are not Christian, or are no longer Christian, I hope you are a person of good will who understands that, commercialization notwithstanding, keeping this reference in the culture alludes to freedom of religion, rather than being an issue of freedom from religion.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
In the news! Read all about it!
Take your pick! What big change happening in the Church got your attention recently? I suppose the first one would be the news that the Pope has said that use of condoms may be morally permissible in some circumstances. When I heard this news I had to read the story twice. I was sure that there had been a misquote. Apparently not. My own reaction was, something big has happened here. Indeed the world felt different. However, Vatican press secretary Father Federico Lombardi insisted that nothing had changed in Church teaching.
Father James Martin, an American Catholic commentator and writer, was quoted by the National Post as saying: “It’s the first admission from a pope that a condom can be used for a good intention,” ...... “Just a few years ago, the Vatican would have rejected these ideas outright, even though they had great currency among theologians. Clearly, something has changed.”
Pope Benedict is a scholar and knows moral theology extremely well. He has applied principles from that discipline that have been around for hundreds of years, and this time has come up with a new direction. Though aimed at a rather narrow set of circumstances, questions are already being raised about the applicability of this teaching in, for example, marriage.
I do not know where this will go, but the optics would suggest that nothing has been as significant since the discussions around artificial contraception in post-Vatican II years.
The second big change happening is in the translation of the prayers of the Mass. This will affect all of us, because we will hear the changes and participate in saying the language of the changes when they finally come out in a couple of years. In the meantime there is a big controversy happening. It centres around the principles that were used in making the translation. Notably, the scholars were to adhere faithfully to the Latin text on which they are based. For example, are you old enough to remember 'Dominus vobiscum' and its response 'Et cum spiritu tuo'? The English we have been using goes: 'The Lord be with you', with the response,'And also with you'. The response will change to the more literal 'And also with your spirit.' Some of the changes flesh out the underlying theology a bit more, and the result is that the text is going to be longer. However, another result is, for example, that the word 'consubstantial' is going to appear in the Creed, in place of 'One in being with....' Do you know what consubstantial means?
So the argument is made that a literal fidelity to the Latin produces an awkward and even unintelligible English. Those who take that position would favour a principle of 'dynamic translation' which takes the translation and then asks, how would we say that today? The effort would be to preserve the theology but to do so in a way that today's parishioner would better comprehend.
Stay tuned on both these big stories. They are very big. There is much more to come. Through it all, ask the Holy Spirit to continue to guide the Church and give her leaders the great gifts of openness, fidelity, and generosity.
Father James Martin, an American Catholic commentator and writer, was quoted by the National Post as saying: “It’s the first admission from a pope that a condom can be used for a good intention,” ...... “Just a few years ago, the Vatican would have rejected these ideas outright, even though they had great currency among theologians. Clearly, something has changed.”
Pope Benedict is a scholar and knows moral theology extremely well. He has applied principles from that discipline that have been around for hundreds of years, and this time has come up with a new direction. Though aimed at a rather narrow set of circumstances, questions are already being raised about the applicability of this teaching in, for example, marriage.
I do not know where this will go, but the optics would suggest that nothing has been as significant since the discussions around artificial contraception in post-Vatican II years.
The second big change happening is in the translation of the prayers of the Mass. This will affect all of us, because we will hear the changes and participate in saying the language of the changes when they finally come out in a couple of years. In the meantime there is a big controversy happening. It centres around the principles that were used in making the translation. Notably, the scholars were to adhere faithfully to the Latin text on which they are based. For example, are you old enough to remember 'Dominus vobiscum' and its response 'Et cum spiritu tuo'? The English we have been using goes: 'The Lord be with you', with the response,'And also with you'. The response will change to the more literal 'And also with your spirit.' Some of the changes flesh out the underlying theology a bit more, and the result is that the text is going to be longer. However, another result is, for example, that the word 'consubstantial' is going to appear in the Creed, in place of 'One in being with....' Do you know what consubstantial means?
So the argument is made that a literal fidelity to the Latin produces an awkward and even unintelligible English. Those who take that position would favour a principle of 'dynamic translation' which takes the translation and then asks, how would we say that today? The effort would be to preserve the theology but to do so in a way that today's parishioner would better comprehend.
Stay tuned on both these big stories. They are very big. There is much more to come. Through it all, ask the Holy Spirit to continue to guide the Church and give her leaders the great gifts of openness, fidelity, and generosity.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The real orchard
I am back from my annual week in the orchard at Guelph, the one that has both literal and figurative meaning for me. Literal, because yes there actually is an orchard. Figurative, because it has become for me an image of the relationship between creation and the Creator. In the Fall when I go there, the apples are being picked or have just been picked. The leaves have not yet fallen, but they will. Nature does not deny the season and the inevitability of change as we humans like to do. Squirrels, groundhogs and no doubt a thousand species of insects are reading the signs of the time. Geese are getting ready to go south, and the young ones are doing a lot of practice flying. The relationship between Creator and creation, Artist and art, God and the universe, is orderly and well designed, when you see it in this perspective. I just stand in the middle of it and drink it all in. The setting - at the Jesuit run Loyola Spirituality Centre - is so wonderful that God seems to be there a lot. It is easier to meet God there than in a whole lot of other places.
Actually, part of renewing and strengthening my relationship with God at this place is the awareness that inevitably arises, that this is about my openness and intentionality, not about God's sudden presence. This awareness is almost as important as anything else that happens on a retreat, because it provides the bridge back to the everyday world. A reminder to sustain the discipline of regular prayer, to 'practice the presence' of God in my own mind. God awaits. Patiently.
Every year, I anticipate the grace I am going to ask for on the retreat. You do that by reviewing the months since the last retreat. Turmoil? Conflict? Doubt? Laziness? In prayer, those things will arise quite readily.
Well this year, the grace I was going to ask for was that of gratitude. I wanted to make a retreat thanking God for all the wonderful gifts I have received. I do not pay enough attention to that. So the retreat did indeed start on that theme. But as often happens, it did not stay there. It evolved to a theme of re-grounding in a deeper awareness of discipleship - the call from Jesus to follow him - wherever that may lead to. That led to prayer for spiritual freedom - because you cannot follow Jesus with attachments that take you down a different road. And you cannot even wish for such freedom without deeply loving Jesus. Otherwise it is all a heady exercise, not going really anywhere. But, see? Even that renewed and deepened awareness is a gift. I know to say thanks for that.
And then I watch the activity in the orchard and I smile. I see the relationships with the Orchard Master. Signs of the times. God gives us lots of those. With the right eyes - the eyes of the heart - we see them. With the right motivation - gratitude and love - we open ourselves to the invitation to respond to them and let God in to lead us as we do so.
Actually, part of renewing and strengthening my relationship with God at this place is the awareness that inevitably arises, that this is about my openness and intentionality, not about God's sudden presence. This awareness is almost as important as anything else that happens on a retreat, because it provides the bridge back to the everyday world. A reminder to sustain the discipline of regular prayer, to 'practice the presence' of God in my own mind. God awaits. Patiently.
Every year, I anticipate the grace I am going to ask for on the retreat. You do that by reviewing the months since the last retreat. Turmoil? Conflict? Doubt? Laziness? In prayer, those things will arise quite readily.
Well this year, the grace I was going to ask for was that of gratitude. I wanted to make a retreat thanking God for all the wonderful gifts I have received. I do not pay enough attention to that. So the retreat did indeed start on that theme. But as often happens, it did not stay there. It evolved to a theme of re-grounding in a deeper awareness of discipleship - the call from Jesus to follow him - wherever that may lead to. That led to prayer for spiritual freedom - because you cannot follow Jesus with attachments that take you down a different road. And you cannot even wish for such freedom without deeply loving Jesus. Otherwise it is all a heady exercise, not going really anywhere. But, see? Even that renewed and deepened awareness is a gift. I know to say thanks for that.
And then I watch the activity in the orchard and I smile. I see the relationships with the Orchard Master. Signs of the times. God gives us lots of those. With the right eyes - the eyes of the heart - we see them. With the right motivation - gratitude and love - we open ourselves to the invitation to respond to them and let God in to lead us as we do so.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Praying with Scripture
We started our first Lectio Divina series in the parish recently. I am really excited about this, and I find myself moved by the experience. Have to remember that I have been doing this kind of prayer for nearly 20 years now, and so I reassure people at our sessions that it may not come easy. Be patient! The Lord will surely provide. What you really need to bring with you is the hunger for an encounter with God, and an openness to hear whatever God wishes to communicate to you.
This is where things get tricky. Because when we pray, we are used to saying prayers. In Lectio Divina, the main activity is listening.
Lectio Divina was started some 800 years ago, and there are a number of traditions within it. All have the same goal - to take you into an experience of the Scripture, where you can encounter God. Notably, where you can meet Jesus and actually dialogue with him. For this you need quiet and time. It is not just meditation about the passage. It is not Bible study. It is entering in.
There are four 'movements' in this kind of prayer: 1. Reading the passage, preferably out loud; 2, meditating on aspects of it (there are lots of written guides for this); 3, praying, as in asking God for the grace you wish to receive during this time; and 4, entering into stillness, to just be with Jesus, be with God.
I really like the way St. Ignatius Loyola approaches scripture through the use of imagining the scene. This is a great entry into the passage, and all you are interested in is looking around, seeing who is there,noticing the setting, and most especially, seeing Jesus. Listening to him. Maybe talking to the disciples or to Mary, or to a bystander.
Inevitably, when praying with the Gospels, I am a bystander, watching. Inevitably, I meet Jesus' gaze, and he calls me over. We talk, and it is beautiful. I know that he knows everything about me, but I am not scared by that. I can say what I feel, and he will respond, maybe with a reassurance, maybe with a challenge. But always, the experience lingers. A good idea is to write down the experience right away, so you can go back and see how it actually did move you.
I encourage everyone to learn about this prayer form. We do not get enough time at Mass to really have such an encounter with Jesus. And yet we know that Jesus is present not only in the Eucharist and in the assembly, but also in his word. How are we ever to meet him there? This is it. I promise you a powerful experience of prayer.
To learn more, just Google Lectio Divina. Lots of stuff on the Internet.
This is where things get tricky. Because when we pray, we are used to saying prayers. In Lectio Divina, the main activity is listening.
Lectio Divina was started some 800 years ago, and there are a number of traditions within it. All have the same goal - to take you into an experience of the Scripture, where you can encounter God. Notably, where you can meet Jesus and actually dialogue with him. For this you need quiet and time. It is not just meditation about the passage. It is not Bible study. It is entering in.
There are four 'movements' in this kind of prayer: 1. Reading the passage, preferably out loud; 2, meditating on aspects of it (there are lots of written guides for this); 3, praying, as in asking God for the grace you wish to receive during this time; and 4, entering into stillness, to just be with Jesus, be with God.
I really like the way St. Ignatius Loyola approaches scripture through the use of imagining the scene. This is a great entry into the passage, and all you are interested in is looking around, seeing who is there,noticing the setting, and most especially, seeing Jesus. Listening to him. Maybe talking to the disciples or to Mary, or to a bystander.
Inevitably, when praying with the Gospels, I am a bystander, watching. Inevitably, I meet Jesus' gaze, and he calls me over. We talk, and it is beautiful. I know that he knows everything about me, but I am not scared by that. I can say what I feel, and he will respond, maybe with a reassurance, maybe with a challenge. But always, the experience lingers. A good idea is to write down the experience right away, so you can go back and see how it actually did move you.
I encourage everyone to learn about this prayer form. We do not get enough time at Mass to really have such an encounter with Jesus. And yet we know that Jesus is present not only in the Eucharist and in the assembly, but also in his word. How are we ever to meet him there? This is it. I promise you a powerful experience of prayer.
To learn more, just Google Lectio Divina. Lots of stuff on the Internet.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
History made!!
Two great things to report on today. Both have to do with dreaming big!
Number one is the "first sustained flight in a human-powered, wing-flapping aircraft." You have read it in the news. There is a BBC link where you can also see the video. It is history - not in the making but made! These guys from the University of Toronto were inspired by sketches made by none other than Leonardo da Vinci. Many others have tried to make the dream happen, but these guys actually did it.
I point this out for two reasons (other than the sheer magnificence of the feat). One, if you see the video, you will be looking at a runway on a farm that is minutes down the road from where I grew up, in Tottenham Ontario. When I went to school from my grandparents' farm, I walked or rode right past this field.
The other reason is, I accomplished something no less grand this weekend. My first Internet Sabbath ever! I had the same case of nerves, no doubt, that the young aviators had! But I also had the same sense of something really neat happening, while it was on. Hopefully millions will be inspired!
"....(S)lipped the surly bonds of Earth" (John Magee, High Flight) .... Slipped the bonds of the Internet ("Every Friday we unplug the modem and we are off line at home the whole weekend. So simple, but it has revolutionized our lives." William Power). Amazing.
Look for them both in the Guiness Book of World Records! You heard it here first.
Number one is the "first sustained flight in a human-powered, wing-flapping aircraft." You have read it in the news. There is a BBC link where you can also see the video. It is history - not in the making but made! These guys from the University of Toronto were inspired by sketches made by none other than Leonardo da Vinci. Many others have tried to make the dream happen, but these guys actually did it.
I point this out for two reasons (other than the sheer magnificence of the feat). One, if you see the video, you will be looking at a runway on a farm that is minutes down the road from where I grew up, in Tottenham Ontario. When I went to school from my grandparents' farm, I walked or rode right past this field.
The other reason is, I accomplished something no less grand this weekend. My first Internet Sabbath ever! I had the same case of nerves, no doubt, that the young aviators had! But I also had the same sense of something really neat happening, while it was on. Hopefully millions will be inspired!
"....(S)lipped the surly bonds of Earth" (John Magee, High Flight) .... Slipped the bonds of the Internet ("Every Friday we unplug the modem and we are off line at home the whole weekend. So simple, but it has revolutionized our lives." William Power). Amazing.
Look for them both in the Guiness Book of World Records! You heard it here first.
Monday, September 20, 2010
"Internet Sabbath"
An article caught my attention in July, and I saved it in my ‘Keep Near’ file. Do you see a problem here?
Anyway, the article was titled “Hamlet had a BlackBerry too”, and it was in the Toronto Star. The author, Jennifer Hunter, interviewed William Powers who wrote a book on that theme. Powers traced the history of ‘messaging’ and found that great thinkers and writers all the way back to Plato took advantage of new technology to bring ‘more efficient ways of communicating.’
With Plato, it was the alphabet itself, technology that let people move from their reliance on oral communication. For Hamlet, it was the tablet. Shakespeare gives one to Hamlet, and so it is assumed the Bard himself had one. The tablet was carried around to help people organize their day. And it could be wiped clean at night (If only!).
The problem has become that we have so much information flying around that our minds are going to be overwhelmed. Powers refers to Marshall McLuhan writings on media, and how they have created the ‘global village.’ But, he adds, McLuhan taught that we can take control of the process. And we do not have to blame our gadgets when we feel befuddled.
Control. There is a nice word.
Plato took control by going for walks. Powers has instituted a plan in his family – presumably with their agreement! – that is a variation on Plato. Every Friday night they unplug the modem and have an Internet Sabbath. “So simple, but it has revolutionized our lives.”
I know why the article caught my attention. The idea is extremely attractive.
I also know why it got buried in my ‘Keep Near’ file. I break out in a cold sweat thinking about it.
Well, I am ready to take the plunge. This Friday. I will keep you posted. Now where are those books I want to read? And aren’t there some crosswords I have saved? What about Scrabble with my wife…..?
Anyway, the article was titled “Hamlet had a BlackBerry too”, and it was in the Toronto Star. The author, Jennifer Hunter, interviewed William Powers who wrote a book on that theme. Powers traced the history of ‘messaging’ and found that great thinkers and writers all the way back to Plato took advantage of new technology to bring ‘more efficient ways of communicating.’
With Plato, it was the alphabet itself, technology that let people move from their reliance on oral communication. For Hamlet, it was the tablet. Shakespeare gives one to Hamlet, and so it is assumed the Bard himself had one. The tablet was carried around to help people organize their day. And it could be wiped clean at night (If only!).
The problem has become that we have so much information flying around that our minds are going to be overwhelmed. Powers refers to Marshall McLuhan writings on media, and how they have created the ‘global village.’ But, he adds, McLuhan taught that we can take control of the process. And we do not have to blame our gadgets when we feel befuddled.
Control. There is a nice word.
Plato took control by going for walks. Powers has instituted a plan in his family – presumably with their agreement! – that is a variation on Plato. Every Friday night they unplug the modem and have an Internet Sabbath. “So simple, but it has revolutionized our lives.”
I know why the article caught my attention. The idea is extremely attractive.
I also know why it got buried in my ‘Keep Near’ file. I break out in a cold sweat thinking about it.
Well, I am ready to take the plunge. This Friday. I will keep you posted. Now where are those books I want to read? And aren’t there some crosswords I have saved? What about Scrabble with my wife…..?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thinking about heroes - Momma and Sally
I am sure we all have heroes in our lives. People who have inspired us at a particular time, for a particular reason. There are sports heroes, action heroes, volunteer work heroes, spiritual heroes. At one time or another I think I have had people in mind who might fit those various categories.
The heroes that impress me more and more as I get older, are those who first of all would wonder who you were referring to, if you called them heroes. People, who, secondly, no matter what their struggles, impress as just plain good people. Persons who, finally, lived their life with a deep faith and both showed it and said it. Some of these are public and well known - such as Jean Vanier, Mother Teresa, Pope John Paul ll. Who are the ones in our lives that will never attain that kind of notoriety? Those are the ones I take delight in thinking about. Those are the ones who truly inspire me to be better than I am.
I have written many times about my first hero - first, as in top of the list. That would be Momma Gus, an 80+ year old woman of colour whom we met in the U.S., and who grew up in Mississippi. Her wisdom and her spiritual counsel were so simple and so wonderful at the same time, that I could listen to her all day. Never preachy, just witnessing to her own powerful faith in an all-loving God. Telling us (my wife and I) many times that she was 'ready to go into glory' whenever her God called her. Reminding us that we needed to pray. I took all that away from our many conversations, and because of the deep personal conviction I was hearing, it all moved me and stayed with me.
I have a new hero. Sally Saunders died last night, after a big battle with cancer. I have had the privilege of watching her faith grow over the years, to the point that when everything was on the line with her health, she too turned with complete trust, to the God who, she realized, has brought her through life this far with many blessings. Blessings. Not curses. Not bitterness. Not why me? Like Momma, she told me that she had placed all this in God's hands. Like Momma, her faith did not come from reading theology or going to learned lectures. It came from believing the Gospel, believing the promises made by Jesus. It came from trusting Jesus.
My goodness, how we falter in that area, I think. I speak for myself here, anyway. You do your own reflection. Faltering is often not a conscious turning away from God. It is rather not being turned toward God. And so we get very down, we get angry, we get bitter. We are blessed indeed when we have the sudden awareness that this is what has been happening with us. We can change direction. Always we can change direction. That is what is so wonderful about this relationship we have with Jesus. He keeps inviting, and he keeps waiting.
And without our even knowing it, he sends people into our lives to kick start the awareness. If we have eyes to see, let us see. That is all the thanks our heroes would want.
And today I thank God for the Momma's and the Sally's of this world. Rest in peace good and faithful ladies.
The heroes that impress me more and more as I get older, are those who first of all would wonder who you were referring to, if you called them heroes. People, who, secondly, no matter what their struggles, impress as just plain good people. Persons who, finally, lived their life with a deep faith and both showed it and said it. Some of these are public and well known - such as Jean Vanier, Mother Teresa, Pope John Paul ll. Who are the ones in our lives that will never attain that kind of notoriety? Those are the ones I take delight in thinking about. Those are the ones who truly inspire me to be better than I am.
I have written many times about my first hero - first, as in top of the list. That would be Momma Gus, an 80+ year old woman of colour whom we met in the U.S., and who grew up in Mississippi. Her wisdom and her spiritual counsel were so simple and so wonderful at the same time, that I could listen to her all day. Never preachy, just witnessing to her own powerful faith in an all-loving God. Telling us (my wife and I) many times that she was 'ready to go into glory' whenever her God called her. Reminding us that we needed to pray. I took all that away from our many conversations, and because of the deep personal conviction I was hearing, it all moved me and stayed with me.
I have a new hero. Sally Saunders died last night, after a big battle with cancer. I have had the privilege of watching her faith grow over the years, to the point that when everything was on the line with her health, she too turned with complete trust, to the God who, she realized, has brought her through life this far with many blessings. Blessings. Not curses. Not bitterness. Not why me? Like Momma, she told me that she had placed all this in God's hands. Like Momma, her faith did not come from reading theology or going to learned lectures. It came from believing the Gospel, believing the promises made by Jesus. It came from trusting Jesus.
My goodness, how we falter in that area, I think. I speak for myself here, anyway. You do your own reflection. Faltering is often not a conscious turning away from God. It is rather not being turned toward God. And so we get very down, we get angry, we get bitter. We are blessed indeed when we have the sudden awareness that this is what has been happening with us. We can change direction. Always we can change direction. That is what is so wonderful about this relationship we have with Jesus. He keeps inviting, and he keeps waiting.
And without our even knowing it, he sends people into our lives to kick start the awareness. If we have eyes to see, let us see. That is all the thanks our heroes would want.
And today I thank God for the Momma's and the Sally's of this world. Rest in peace good and faithful ladies.
Friday, August 13, 2010
More time? The phenomenon of evolving priorities.
I cannot believe how time is flying! When I was a very young kid, I recall thinking that the summer break was actually a year long. When I learned it was only two months, I was so dismayed I think I felt like I was smothering!
Now as an older guy who is theoretically semi-retired, angst about the short time to the beginning of the new school year is merely an old memory. What is getting my attention now are comments from golfing buddies to the effect 'Why aren't you getting out more?' Aren't you supposed to have more time on your hands now?
Truth is I am beginning to learn what I have heard over and over from retirees - they are busier than ever! And I am still only semi-retired.
I truly thought that I all I would do in any free time I had after I closed my office, would be to play golf. The thing is, priorities begin to shift. There are projects around the house, there are new opportunities to spend time with people in ministry. And there is a whole lot of catching up to do for all that time taken from a very patient wife over the years. Time spent at meetings, time writing reports. I find that it is delightful beyond what the every day world would have led me to believe, to spend time with this wonderful person who has said she would be with me through thick and thin. And she has done all of that. Now my turn, happily.
But the rearranging of priorities will continue, and that includes ensuring time for this Blog, which I so eagerly looked forward to having.
Right now, I share with you a link that has a funny but ever so serious message - about the Church in post-Vatican ll times. Copy and paste into your browser, than see what you think. Meantime I hope you are enjoying your summer.
http://southernorderspage.blogspot.com/2010/08/now-this-video-is-hoot-sterotypical-but.html
Now as an older guy who is theoretically semi-retired, angst about the short time to the beginning of the new school year is merely an old memory. What is getting my attention now are comments from golfing buddies to the effect 'Why aren't you getting out more?' Aren't you supposed to have more time on your hands now?
Truth is I am beginning to learn what I have heard over and over from retirees - they are busier than ever! And I am still only semi-retired.
I truly thought that I all I would do in any free time I had after I closed my office, would be to play golf. The thing is, priorities begin to shift. There are projects around the house, there are new opportunities to spend time with people in ministry. And there is a whole lot of catching up to do for all that time taken from a very patient wife over the years. Time spent at meetings, time writing reports. I find that it is delightful beyond what the every day world would have led me to believe, to spend time with this wonderful person who has said she would be with me through thick and thin. And she has done all of that. Now my turn, happily.
But the rearranging of priorities will continue, and that includes ensuring time for this Blog, which I so eagerly looked forward to having.
Right now, I share with you a link that has a funny but ever so serious message - about the Church in post-Vatican ll times. Copy and paste into your browser, than see what you think. Meantime I hope you are enjoying your summer.
http://southernorderspage.blogspot.com/2010/08/now-this-video-is-hoot-sterotypical-but.html
Monday, July 12, 2010
Relationship reservoirs and the stock market
I was talking to someone the other day about relationship stresses. I have done a lot of talking about that subject over the years! If I have learned anything, it is that relationships have a very good history of recovering from hurts, conflicts, blows to the head. The reason is, as one author has said, every relationship has a reservoir of good will. It may be hard to find it on a given day, and you may not believe it is there in a given month, but it usually is.
As a result, one piece of advice I give couples is to resist the temptation to see the relationship itself being on the table every time there is a dispute. The dispute is usually just the dispute, not the relationship! The dispute needs problem-solving, catching the breath, taking a step back for a moment, and so on. It does not need separation, permanent cutting off of communication, or any of a variety of drastic measures. Not normally, not in first instance for sure.
So when I was talking to this person, the image of the stock market came to mind. If you behaved in the stock market the way you are tempted to do in relationship ups and downs, you would go broke!
I took a look at today’s opening on the Toronto Stock Exchange. Wouldn't you know – straight down!
If this were a relationship, we would be charting an argument, a criticism, a rumor, a hurt. We might be so alarmed by the sudden swift change, that we pull the plug on the relationship. We are scared and hurt.
Next I looked at the past decade on the same Exchange. Big hit in 2009 (we all remember the financial meltdown, right?). But If you got out at the bottom, you miss the opportunities for the recovery that has already been taking place.
Finally, I took a look at the really long term, the past century. This time, the Dow Jones Exchange in New York. There is the blip that was the Crash of 1929. Are you ready? The market recovered from even that, and has been on a steady climb ever since. In my experience I would liken that Crash to infidelity in a marriage. Very very serious. Could wipe you out for sure. But I have seen marriages come back from that kind of calamity stronger than when they went in. Why? Because the reservoir of good will still existed; and because the sloppiness was taken out of the system: people quit taking things for granted in the relationship. They started talking, spending time with each other again, and so on.
No image is perfect, this one included. Sometimes the hit is too big, and for any of a number of reasons, you are too tired or too devastated to stay in the game.
But remember the reservoir. It may save your relationship – with a friend, relative, child, parent, or spouse.
As a result, one piece of advice I give couples is to resist the temptation to see the relationship itself being on the table every time there is a dispute. The dispute is usually just the dispute, not the relationship! The dispute needs problem-solving, catching the breath, taking a step back for a moment, and so on. It does not need separation, permanent cutting off of communication, or any of a variety of drastic measures. Not normally, not in first instance for sure.
So when I was talking to this person, the image of the stock market came to mind. If you behaved in the stock market the way you are tempted to do in relationship ups and downs, you would go broke!
I took a look at today’s opening on the Toronto Stock Exchange. Wouldn't you know – straight down!
If this were a relationship, we would be charting an argument, a criticism, a rumor, a hurt. We might be so alarmed by the sudden swift change, that we pull the plug on the relationship. We are scared and hurt.
Next I looked at the past decade on the same Exchange. Big hit in 2009 (we all remember the financial meltdown, right?). But If you got out at the bottom, you miss the opportunities for the recovery that has already been taking place.
Finally, I took a look at the really long term, the past century. This time, the Dow Jones Exchange in New York. There is the blip that was the Crash of 1929. Are you ready? The market recovered from even that, and has been on a steady climb ever since. In my experience I would liken that Crash to infidelity in a marriage. Very very serious. Could wipe you out for sure. But I have seen marriages come back from that kind of calamity stronger than when they went in. Why? Because the reservoir of good will still existed; and because the sloppiness was taken out of the system: people quit taking things for granted in the relationship. They started talking, spending time with each other again, and so on.
No image is perfect, this one included. Sometimes the hit is too big, and for any of a number of reasons, you are too tired or too devastated to stay in the game.
But remember the reservoir. It may save your relationship – with a friend, relative, child, parent, or spouse.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Of polls and anarchists
An article in the Montreal Gazette June 28, 2010, reports on a national poll showing support for the monarchy as ‘lukewarm’ across the country, decidedly cold in Quebec. The occasion of course is the beginning of Her Majesty’s Canadian tour. Interestingly, the same poll looked at attitudes toward some other terms such as ‘socialism’, ‘family values’, etc. “(W)ords such as religion, church, Catholicism and Protestantism drew half-hearted reactions from most Canadians…… And 89 per cent of Canadians gave "family values" a positive response.”
The Anglican Church reviewed the findings, and reported on its website: “ A large majority (77%) of all Canadians say they do care (emphasis added) whether or not the Anglican, Roman Catholic and Presbyterian Churches survive the legal claims against them. Although church goers, regardless of frequency, express concern over the Churches' survival, concern is higher among those who attend regularly (89%) than among those who do not (71%)……. Only 22% of Canadians say they are indifferent to whether the Anglican Roman Catholic and Presbyterian Churches in Canada survive. ……. Forced to choose between making Churches pay claims regardless of consequences or protecting them from bankruptcy, fully 80% of Canadians believe the Churches should be protected from bankruptcy."
So when I look at these comments in aggregate, I am left scratching my head a bit and wondering if the cup is half empty or half full. Is the ‘lukewarm’ reaction to religion words the result of a national decline in interest for all things religious – or is it a sign of the strength of religious beliefs holding up as well as it is under incredibly trying and scandal-plagued times? That it could be much much worse, in other words, if we were not a nation who understood at some level that one’s relationship with God is bigger than the institutions that provide a home for our worship of God.
Another musing. We spent $1 billion to put on the greatest ….. what? ….. show of collaboration among the world’s leaders? …… embarrassment to our country? …… photo-op for the Prime Minister’s next election campaign? …… forging of a strong way forward by those who govern the world’s economies? What is your own take on that? Well, there I was trying to think through the significance of it all, when I see the live coverage of black clad people smashing up downtown Toronto and setting a couple of police cars on fire. I will not repeat the angry thoughts that ran through my head as I watched. But as always happens – without fail – when I am in one of those moods, the thought starts to insinuate itself, ‘These are God’s beloved.’ I tell you, that is tough. I am not only wanting them to be stopped, I have some punitive measures in my head. That is not God’s way. I think of the Prodigal Son. These are wayward folk. Boy are they off track. So cynical, so angry, so despairing of ever having influence in what they see as the power structures in some or all nations. Lash out, disturb, inflict pain, and disrupt. An embarrassment to people who still do believe in the power of protest, and who marched peacefully. What is the response to them? I feel an elder son response coming on big time.
But the Father just waits. And hurts. Not for himself, you understand. That would be us, that would be the elder son, taking it all so personally. No, the Father hurts for the woundedness of people whose wounds further hurt not only themselves but the citizens of the community around them.
I do know what the Father asks. That we pray for them. That we try to find it in our hearts to be less concerned about the punishment than the conversion – less concerned about the handcuffs than the softening of hearts.
I will try. And as I say that, I know that the first heart that needs to be softened is my own.
The Anglican Church reviewed the findings, and reported on its website: “ A large majority (77%) of all Canadians say they do care (emphasis added) whether or not the Anglican, Roman Catholic and Presbyterian Churches survive the legal claims against them. Although church goers, regardless of frequency, express concern over the Churches' survival, concern is higher among those who attend regularly (89%) than among those who do not (71%)……. Only 22% of Canadians say they are indifferent to whether the Anglican Roman Catholic and Presbyterian Churches in Canada survive. ……. Forced to choose between making Churches pay claims regardless of consequences or protecting them from bankruptcy, fully 80% of Canadians believe the Churches should be protected from bankruptcy."
So when I look at these comments in aggregate, I am left scratching my head a bit and wondering if the cup is half empty or half full. Is the ‘lukewarm’ reaction to religion words the result of a national decline in interest for all things religious – or is it a sign of the strength of religious beliefs holding up as well as it is under incredibly trying and scandal-plagued times? That it could be much much worse, in other words, if we were not a nation who understood at some level that one’s relationship with God is bigger than the institutions that provide a home for our worship of God.
Another musing. We spent $1 billion to put on the greatest ….. what? ….. show of collaboration among the world’s leaders? …… embarrassment to our country? …… photo-op for the Prime Minister’s next election campaign? …… forging of a strong way forward by those who govern the world’s economies? What is your own take on that? Well, there I was trying to think through the significance of it all, when I see the live coverage of black clad people smashing up downtown Toronto and setting a couple of police cars on fire. I will not repeat the angry thoughts that ran through my head as I watched. But as always happens – without fail – when I am in one of those moods, the thought starts to insinuate itself, ‘These are God’s beloved.’ I tell you, that is tough. I am not only wanting them to be stopped, I have some punitive measures in my head. That is not God’s way. I think of the Prodigal Son. These are wayward folk. Boy are they off track. So cynical, so angry, so despairing of ever having influence in what they see as the power structures in some or all nations. Lash out, disturb, inflict pain, and disrupt. An embarrassment to people who still do believe in the power of protest, and who marched peacefully. What is the response to them? I feel an elder son response coming on big time.
But the Father just waits. And hurts. Not for himself, you understand. That would be us, that would be the elder son, taking it all so personally. No, the Father hurts for the woundedness of people whose wounds further hurt not only themselves but the citizens of the community around them.
I do know what the Father asks. That we pray for them. That we try to find it in our hearts to be less concerned about the punishment than the conversion – less concerned about the handcuffs than the softening of hearts.
I will try. And as I say that, I know that the first heart that needs to be softened is my own.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Let's talk about attachment
I talked a while ago about the workshop I attended in Ottawa, led by Gordon Neufeld. The theme was bullying, and what I did not say was that the theoretical context was what we in the field know as Attachment Theory.
Briefly this was first articulated in the 1950’s and 1960’s by a British psychiatrist named John Bowlby. He said that the ‘attachment system’ plays out between child and caregiver (parent), and is as built in as the feeding and reproductive systems. In short, when a child is in distress and cries, the child cannot stop the cry until one of two things happens: parent comes and comforts (change diaper, feed, etc), or child is simply exhausted. When the parent responds to comfort, the child’s brain develops the ability be comforted, leading to the day when the older child comforts him or her self. When the response is no response, or a yell or a hit, the baby’s problems increase. Distress intensifies, and no inner template is developing. And the world is on its way to being a very scary place.
You know people who play this out every day, somewhere on the safety scale (you are one of them). You will see those who handle conflict very well; you will see those who take everything personally, and either rage or cry. You will see those who are unfailingly kind and charitable; you will see those whose only interest is themselves, and getting there first. You are seeing the results of what we call secure and insecure attachment patterns.
Attachment relationships occur in every creature species and across the lifetime. When we become adults, the dependence/ independence dynamic is slightly different, in that it does not characterize the relationship (as in parent-child) but rather situations. I need to be taken care of right now, and I need you for that. When you need to be taken care of, I am there for you.
I attended another workshop on attachment this past week, and as always happens, information builds on what you already know. The presenter was Dr. Diane Benoit from Sick Kids hospital in Toronto. I may refer back to her work and that of Dr. Neufeld from time to time, because parents really need to become experts in this and skilled at it. The neat thing for our work is that parents who do not have the skills, can acquire them.
So, for today, here is Dr. Benoit’s list of parent behaviours that produce a severely affected child:
1. Emotional communication errors: contradictory/ mixed signals; failure to initiate response, or inappropriate response, to infant cues of distress;
2. Role/ boundary confusions: role reversal, sexualized behaviour;
3. Disorientation: parent is frightened or disorganized;
4. Intrusiveness/ negativity: attributing negative motivation to the child; tries to control with objects rather than holding, comforting;
5. Withdrawal: distancing self from child; directing child away from self by using toys
You see what is missing in all these; accurate response to distress, through use of the eyes, smiles, voice.
Out here in the orchard, the animals never holler to their young, “I’ll be with you in a little while.” They never ignore the pleadings of their young, and above all they never whack them over the head when the young are in distress. The young learn from the start that they are safe in their parents’ care.
We humans, are so much smarter, right? And we get it wrong many times every day before lunch.
Perfection is never the minimum. But developing the mindset, the awareness of how this works and how important it is, is the minimum. The skills, if we do not already have them, can be learned.
And a big nod in the direction of our relationship with our Creator. Have you noticed? The attachment system starts right there. Our God designed us to be dependent on him. In return God has total regard for us, will never put us off, will never whack us over the head. Never. When those bad times come along, that is not God doing it to us. On the contrary, God is waiting: when the attachment system is turned on in us, God is right there. How neat is that. You are always safe with this caregiver. Always.
Briefly this was first articulated in the 1950’s and 1960’s by a British psychiatrist named John Bowlby. He said that the ‘attachment system’ plays out between child and caregiver (parent), and is as built in as the feeding and reproductive systems. In short, when a child is in distress and cries, the child cannot stop the cry until one of two things happens: parent comes and comforts (change diaper, feed, etc), or child is simply exhausted. When the parent responds to comfort, the child’s brain develops the ability be comforted, leading to the day when the older child comforts him or her self. When the response is no response, or a yell or a hit, the baby’s problems increase. Distress intensifies, and no inner template is developing. And the world is on its way to being a very scary place.
You know people who play this out every day, somewhere on the safety scale (you are one of them). You will see those who handle conflict very well; you will see those who take everything personally, and either rage or cry. You will see those who are unfailingly kind and charitable; you will see those whose only interest is themselves, and getting there first. You are seeing the results of what we call secure and insecure attachment patterns.
Attachment relationships occur in every creature species and across the lifetime. When we become adults, the dependence/ independence dynamic is slightly different, in that it does not characterize the relationship (as in parent-child) but rather situations. I need to be taken care of right now, and I need you for that. When you need to be taken care of, I am there for you.
I attended another workshop on attachment this past week, and as always happens, information builds on what you already know. The presenter was Dr. Diane Benoit from Sick Kids hospital in Toronto. I may refer back to her work and that of Dr. Neufeld from time to time, because parents really need to become experts in this and skilled at it. The neat thing for our work is that parents who do not have the skills, can acquire them.
So, for today, here is Dr. Benoit’s list of parent behaviours that produce a severely affected child:
1. Emotional communication errors: contradictory/ mixed signals; failure to initiate response, or inappropriate response, to infant cues of distress;
2. Role/ boundary confusions: role reversal, sexualized behaviour;
3. Disorientation: parent is frightened or disorganized;
4. Intrusiveness/ negativity: attributing negative motivation to the child; tries to control with objects rather than holding, comforting;
5. Withdrawal: distancing self from child; directing child away from self by using toys
You see what is missing in all these; accurate response to distress, through use of the eyes, smiles, voice.
Out here in the orchard, the animals never holler to their young, “I’ll be with you in a little while.” They never ignore the pleadings of their young, and above all they never whack them over the head when the young are in distress. The young learn from the start that they are safe in their parents’ care.
We humans, are so much smarter, right? And we get it wrong many times every day before lunch.
Perfection is never the minimum. But developing the mindset, the awareness of how this works and how important it is, is the minimum. The skills, if we do not already have them, can be learned.
And a big nod in the direction of our relationship with our Creator. Have you noticed? The attachment system starts right there. Our God designed us to be dependent on him. In return God has total regard for us, will never put us off, will never whack us over the head. Never. When those bad times come along, that is not God doing it to us. On the contrary, God is waiting: when the attachment system is turned on in us, God is right there. How neat is that. You are always safe with this caregiver. Always.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Inspired by a Rapper
His picture was on the front page of the Entertainment section of the Star. I was not going to pay much attention until these words caught my eye: “But the one thing you’ll never hear – or miss – on a Shad song is profanity. “I don’t really curse too much in regular life, so I figure it would be disingenuous to just put that in my music……. And also, who says that has to be the vocabulary of the music? Hip-hop’s always been about doing your own thing and you don’t need to curse to engage people.””
Call me naïve, but I did think that was the vocabulary of the music. My exposure has been limited, but I have heard Eminem. I feel sorry for that guy.
But Shad. I am blown away. This guy has my utmost respect. I do not know anything about him beyond what I read here. I do not know what he does with his life otherwise. But to be willing to go out to your public with this message ….. well, sir, I thank you.
More than that, with my cynicism lowered and my judgementalism looking at me in the mirror, I feel called to clean up my act. Indeed I feel free to do that. Shad made me realize that I carry a bit of a what’s the use mentality. Know what that does? It lowers my resolve, my discipline.
Amazing. And cool (if that doesn’t sound too uncool coming from an old guy!). He doesn’t know it, but he is a gift. To me, anyway. I think the Risen Lord would approve of that. Do you suppose He had anything to do with it?
Call me naïve, but I did think that was the vocabulary of the music. My exposure has been limited, but I have heard Eminem. I feel sorry for that guy.
But Shad. I am blown away. This guy has my utmost respect. I do not know anything about him beyond what I read here. I do not know what he does with his life otherwise. But to be willing to go out to your public with this message ….. well, sir, I thank you.
More than that, with my cynicism lowered and my judgementalism looking at me in the mirror, I feel called to clean up my act. Indeed I feel free to do that. Shad made me realize that I carry a bit of a what’s the use mentality. Know what that does? It lowers my resolve, my discipline.
Amazing. And cool (if that doesn’t sound too uncool coming from an old guy!). He doesn’t know it, but he is a gift. To me, anyway. I think the Risen Lord would approve of that. Do you suppose He had anything to do with it?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Perfect game
Perfection. I was thinking about this concept the other day when major league umpire Jim Joyce blew the call on the last out for Armando Galarraga’s perfect game. Twenty-seven batters up and twenty-seven batters out, is the definition of a perfect game. Replays show that Gallaraga had his perfect game. The last batter was out at first base, but the ump called it wrong. And the call stood. Baseball has no mechanism for overturning such a call. Fans are rightly screaming for video-replay option, to let the umps have a second look.
All my professional life I have been urging people to consider that perfection is not the minimum. This advice is especially important for people who are hard on themselves or on others. Baseball has a clear definition for the perfect game. Life does not.
Out here in the orchard, perfection is not even a consideration. The creatures go about their work. They build, they reproduce, they hunt for food, they feed themselves and their young. If things do not work out, they try again. You see it all the time. Funny that is does not work that way with humans.
We do something and then we evaluate it. We watch someone else do something and then we evaluate that too. How do you score on the harsh-judgment meter?
Sometimes we evaluate our effort even before we do it. And get too nervous to try. So we bail.
Fortunately our God does not see it the way we often do. The story of the Prodigal Son is a tremendous illustration of how God assesses things. Where many of us humans would be yelling at the younger son for being such an ungrateful little jerk, the Father simply welcomes him home. Does God blow the call, then? Or is the message rather that the outcome is not about performance, it is about relationship. God is not hanging out for us to get it right all the time.
In life as in baseball itself, perfection is not the minimum. We would go crazy if it were. Staying in the game is the minimum, always returning to the relationship. We will be called safe, count on it.
All my professional life I have been urging people to consider that perfection is not the minimum. This advice is especially important for people who are hard on themselves or on others. Baseball has a clear definition for the perfect game. Life does not.
Out here in the orchard, perfection is not even a consideration. The creatures go about their work. They build, they reproduce, they hunt for food, they feed themselves and their young. If things do not work out, they try again. You see it all the time. Funny that is does not work that way with humans.
We do something and then we evaluate it. We watch someone else do something and then we evaluate that too. How do you score on the harsh-judgment meter?
Sometimes we evaluate our effort even before we do it. And get too nervous to try. So we bail.
Fortunately our God does not see it the way we often do. The story of the Prodigal Son is a tremendous illustration of how God assesses things. Where many of us humans would be yelling at the younger son for being such an ungrateful little jerk, the Father simply welcomes him home. Does God blow the call, then? Or is the message rather that the outcome is not about performance, it is about relationship. God is not hanging out for us to get it right all the time.
In life as in baseball itself, perfection is not the minimum. We would go crazy if it were. Staying in the game is the minimum, always returning to the relationship. We will be called safe, count on it.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Playoffs and Workshops
It is very difficult being a Leafs fan through the playoffs! You want a Canadian team in all the way, but you have cheered against them all year, every year! Well, sadly it looks as though there will be two American teams (loaded with Canadian players) in the Stanley Cup finals. At that point we Toronto fans can turn our attention again to the Canadian baseball team (loaded with American players!), the Blue Jays. I will try to make sense out of all that one day.
On another note, I just attended a great workshop in Ottawa. It was led by Vancouver psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld, of whom I have been aware for some time, and whose writings I have used in my own work with kids and families.
This workshop was on bullying, ‘their making and unmaking.’ I cannot do it justice here, but Dr. Neufeld used a couple of phrases that resonate with our natural parenting instincts, I think. He talked about the need to ‘soften their hearts,’ and this makes a whole lot of sense when you understand how the bullying impulse arises in the first place.
He also talked about the need to make contact with kids in a way that would facilitate the softening process (and act as a preventive measure for all kids). So when you are talking to your kids, ‘collect them with the eyes, first, then with a smile, then with a nod.’ Warm and affirming.
I would commend those two phrases to the mindset of every parent. ‘Collect them with the eyes’. Love it.
Dr. Neufeld’s career roughly parallels mine in time. He has been a researcher, clinician and writer for a long time, and he has put a lot of effort now into putting his accumulated learning and wisdom into books and DVDs. I am not his agent, but this is very good stuff. Parents, you can check it out at http://www.gordonneufeld.com/.
His latest book is titled “Hold on to Your Kids’, and he will soon publish his book on bullying. The bullying lecture, though, is available on DVD.
On another note, I just attended a great workshop in Ottawa. It was led by Vancouver psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld, of whom I have been aware for some time, and whose writings I have used in my own work with kids and families.
This workshop was on bullying, ‘their making and unmaking.’ I cannot do it justice here, but Dr. Neufeld used a couple of phrases that resonate with our natural parenting instincts, I think. He talked about the need to ‘soften their hearts,’ and this makes a whole lot of sense when you understand how the bullying impulse arises in the first place.
He also talked about the need to make contact with kids in a way that would facilitate the softening process (and act as a preventive measure for all kids). So when you are talking to your kids, ‘collect them with the eyes, first, then with a smile, then with a nod.’ Warm and affirming.
I would commend those two phrases to the mindset of every parent. ‘Collect them with the eyes’. Love it.
Dr. Neufeld’s career roughly parallels mine in time. He has been a researcher, clinician and writer for a long time, and he has put a lot of effort now into putting his accumulated learning and wisdom into books and DVDs. I am not his agent, but this is very good stuff. Parents, you can check it out at http://www.gordonneufeld.com/.
His latest book is titled “Hold on to Your Kids’, and he will soon publish his book on bullying. The bullying lecture, though, is available on DVD.
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